If you are like me, as soon as you peed on the stick and found out you were pregnant you than began to fear the day that you would have to actually give birth. When I thought about giving birth I first envisioned how painful it would be, thinking about women on television screaming their heads off and yelling at their husbands. Ekk! Would that be me? Umm, probably. I then immediately made a plan to discuss optional C-sections with my doctor. Around 14 weeks we started to tell friends and family members that we were pregnant. A good friend who was also pregnant told me that she was going to use a doula when giving birth. Wanting to act like I was in the know, I pretended to know all about doulas asking important questions like, “Where do you find a doula?”, “Isn’t that an unnecessary waste of money?” and “Isn’t that super crunchy?” Of course I quickly Goggled “doula” as soon as I returned home. Once we told co-workers that we were pregnant, the discussion of a doula returned. Now as you remember I had already mentally scheduled a C-section for the birth of my baby so there was no need to have a doula. I just needed this baby cut out. Please doctor, just knock me out, I would like to order a no pain childbirth. Now if you have had a C-section, this is where you are probably laughing and telling your computer that I am a complete idiot. As you can tell I had very little experience with childbirth and really didn’t know all of the facts. To make a long story short we decided to hire a doula and it was the best decision I could have made. She educated us on the facts and allowed us to make the decisions that we thought would be best for our baby. We ended up using midwives and I had a natural, drug free labor and delivery. I will write more about our birth story later but wanted to take some time to share our experiences with a doula.
First, our doula Bobbie was fantastic. She met with us several times prior to giving birth to answer questions and make sure we knew what to expect when the time came to give birth. She gave us several books and videos to read and was on call to answer questions, “did my water just break or did I just pee myself?” and “was that a real contraction or a Braxton Hicks contraction” at any point during the pregnancy. Most importantly, Bobbie was with us throughout my labor and delivery. She came to our house at 7 o’clock in the morning and labored with us at our house until we were ready to head to the hospital. Knowing that I would be more comfortable laboring at home, her presence was invaluable. She was the calming voice that told me that what I was experiencing was normal while laboring at home like when I puked multiple times, the feeling of more intense contractions, and the urge to constantly pee. She also was the encouraging voice when the contractions became more intense and I questioned if I was really going to be able to birth this baby. She kept me calm and focused on my ultimate goal (even when the nurse at the hospital offered me an epidural like it was a cocktail). No matter how many babies we have in the future (I foresee 1, maybe 2 max), I will hire Bobbie as our birthing doula. So my final advice, give yourself the gift of a positive birth and hire a doula!
If you are in the Baltimore area, do yourself a favor and hire Bobbie as your doula - http://doulamatch.net/profile/1331/bobbie-humphrey-cddona
If you are outside the Baltimore area you can look on the website Doula Match http://doulamatch.net or Dona International http://www.dona.org to find a doula that would be a good match.
One last tip- hire an independent doula. You can hire a doula who works for the hospital where you deliver but they may have hospital policies or work relationships with which to adhere.
Below are the list of books and videos that Bobbie shared with us that we found to be helpful:
Active Birth – Janet Balaskas
The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (anything by Ina May is terrific to read)
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
ibirth - DVD
