Mom Business Adventures 101: Selling Boob Milk on the Black Market

If I was a cow, I would be the sought after cash cow on the farm.  I have good birthing hips and I produce milk in abundance. 

Now some mom’s are reading this post and are thinking shiiit, I wish I had your problem.  Other people are thinking, gross, I think I’ll stop reading now. 

If I still have you, let me tell you my story as an over achieving milk Mama.  

Wanting to have enough milk when I returned to work I pumped like crazy during my way too short 12 weeks of maternity leave. As a result, my body thought that I was nursing twins and started working double over time.   Thus creating a well-stocked freezer containing my breast milk stash.

After making the decision to stay at home with Madeline and only work part-time the stash of liquid gold wasn’t needed.   Knowing that money would be tight on one income, I was excited to see a Good Morning America report on black market breast milk.

Dang, my ship just come in.   People were paying $1.00-$2.50 per ounce!  I quickly did the math in my head and decided that I could bring in at least $50 a week.    

It is basic economics at work.  Supply and demand.  I certainly had the supply, now I just needed the demand.

I immediately created a specific email address to conduct business and was anxious for my first sale.  Boy was I disappointed when the only person interested in my milk was a skivvy man.   Gross! 

Thinking I could help out a friend who wasn’t producing enough for her son, I offered her the stash.   Lord knows what she thought of me.  I guess it is a good thing we are close friends.   

After graciously declining my offer she suggested that I donate my milk.   After a little research I found Helping Hands Milk Bank 

I filled out half the application online and then stopped.  I realized that I would have to get paper work signed by my doctor, Madeline’s pediatrician and have blood work drawn and DNA samples taken.

Too much work for this mama.

After a phone call from Helping Hands and a few answered questions I realized that the process was much simpler that I had expected.    The company sent all the necessary paperwork, set up an appointment to have blood drawn in my home (this can also be done at your place of work or another location of your choice) and supplied all of the necessary materials. 

Donating your milk is super easy.  Helping Hands sends you a cooler and packaging label, you fill the cooler, phone UPS to schedule a pick up time and UPS picks the cooler up from your front door.  You don’t even need to leave the house!

In the end I donated four coolers of milk for a grand total of over 300 ounces.  The best part is that the milk is used to create a formula for premature babies.  It is an amazing feeling to know that my excess milk can be used to help premature babies survive. As an added bonus, I received a check for $300 to cover the cost of my breast pump from Helping Hands!   

I know some people may find the thought of donating breast milk to be gross but hopefully in the future it will regarded in the same way as someone donating blood at the Red Cross.   The basic idea is the same and in the end lives may be saved.

I encourage all nursing moms who have a milk abundance to look into the program.   It is well worth your time and effort.

Get Supported! The art of breastfeeding

Before giving birth I made a decision that I would breastfeed our baby.   I felt that it was important to breastfeed our child due to all of the healthy benefits for the baby.  

I first want to state that what to feed your infant is your personal decision.  You may choose to breastfeed, you may not.   I was not a breastfeed baby and I like to think that I turned out ok.  

With that said, if you have the ability and the interest to breastfeed kudos to you!

One of the three reasons why we decided to hire a doula were for help with achieving a natural childbirth, help with nursing and advice with cloth diapering. 

I have to say that our doula was the best advocate, supporter and assistant with helping me to be successful with nursing our daughter.  She came to our house multiple times after Madeline was born to assist with getting Madeline to latch properly and was also on call via phone 24 hours a day.   

If you haven't already done so, check out my post about doulas What's a Girl to Doula

 

If you don’t hire a doula to come to the house take advantage of nursing groups at your local hospitals.   Most hospitals offer a nursing support group or hotline that you can phone to speak with a lactation consultant. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Leaving the house to attend a support group may be the last thing you want to do in the first couple of days or weeks that you are home with your little one but trust me, it will be worth the effort.  So pull on the sweats and head out the door!

About two weeks after delivering Madeline I was still struggling with her latching.  She would often try to “help” by placing her hands in her mouth, falling asleep, wiggling, sinking down into the Boppy…so during a tearful nursing session I told Jason that I just wasn’t sure I could do it. 

My amazing husband headed out the door with a 20% off Babies R Us coupon to return with a My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow.  It is honestly the best invention and totally worth the money.   So ladies, add a My Breast Friend Nursing pillow to your baby registry.  You won’t be disappointed.

There is so much that I could write about nursing but I think the important thing to note are the benefits to you and the baby.   Breast milk is the perfect food for your little one.   It contains all of the needed nutrition for your baby and also contains disease-fighting elements to protect your infant from illnesses.  

In addition, studies have shown that breastfed babies have lower risks for allergies, SIDS, may lower a child’s risk of becoming obese, may increase a child’s IQ and helps to build an emotional connection between you and your baby.  

One of the best benefits of breastfeeding for you is the fact that it will help you get your pre baby body back.  You can burn up to 500 extra calories a day breastfeeding.  So in the early days when you feel like it is an accomplishment to get a shower and brush your teeth, know that you are also burning off those pregnancy love handles in the process. 

Also, know that nursing can be painful in the beginning unrelated to the appropriateness of your technique.  I felt like I was doing something wrong when my toes curled every time Madeline latched.    I wish someone had told me that the pain would subside as my body got use to the change and hormones were back to normal levels.  In the mean time, stock up on Lansinoh Lanolin ladies.   It is amazing!   

And finally don’t give up! Phone friends and family members who have nursed for encouragement and support.  Also take advantage of breastfeeding support groups in your area.   It doesn’t have to be at the hospital or birthing center in which you gave birth.  Try lots of groups until you find one that is helpful and provides the support you need.  The best nursing group that I attended was at the hospital in which my sister in law gave birth to my nephew. 

Below is a list of suggested items for breastfeeding.   Good luck!

*Nursing bras, tank tops and sleeping bras

*Nursing stool

*My Breastfriend Nursing Pillow

*Bamboobies reusable nursing pads –these things are AMAZING and so worth every penny!

*Breast pump- I love my Medela Pump in Style but have heard good things about other pumps.  Do some research and find the pump that will work best for you. 

Get MidWISE! Midwives vs. OBGYNs

At 36 weeks Jason and I decided to switch from the OBGYN practice that we used throughout the pregnancy to a practice of midwives.  It was a scary and emotional switch. 

At the time none of my friends or family members had used midwives and the thought made me anxious and a bit scared.   I wanted a positive natural birth but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my baby’s health and safety to achieve that goal.  

The good news is that you don’t have to sacrifice your baby’s health and safety by choosing to go with midwives vs. a traditional OBGYN office.  

Prior to making the switch I was concerned that if I chose to use a midwife practice I would not receive as quality of care as I would with my OBGYN practice.   I could not have been more wrong. 

At the first meeting with one of the midwives, I was asked to describe my birth plan.   Prior to this, my doctors told me how I would give birth.   I felt more in control with the midwives and also more confident in my abilities to birth this baby!

The appointments at my OBGYN felt like a medical process rather than a natural and normal event.   I was asked to vision and verbalize my ideal birth with the midwives and was asked to describe and discuss any fears I had about giving birth.  These weren’t topics of discussion with my OBGYN and trust me I had some serious fears!

I felt like I was giving birth with my sister or a good friend when working with the midwives.    I know that my experience may not be the same as others and I also don’t want you to think that I am totally against OBGYNs.  I am just pro-midwives J  You will know what is the best decision for you when the time comes.

I have now switched practices for good and will tell anyone who will listen to consider using midwives for the birth of their baby and for routine health visits.   

Midwives have a lower rate of cesarean sections and actually strive to minimize the need for interventions.  They strive to allow women to achieve the birth that they desire rather than what maybe convenient for the doctor.   Midwives can deliver babies in a hospital, birthing center or even within your own home.

In our experience, midwives treated the whole person rather than treating my pregnancy as a medical condition.   When I was in labor the midwife working with us was a calm and reassuring voice. 

If you are thinking about using midwives for the birth of your baby, have no fear!

Below are a few books and links that I found to be helpful when making the switch.  Enjoy!

Books:  Anything by Ina May Gaskin and if you have not already done so, read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

http://www.midwivesofmaryland.org/

http://marylandmidwives.webs.com/

http://www.specialbeginnings.com/

http://www.stjosephtowson.com/Programs-Services/Centers-of-Excellence/Women-and-Children/Labor-Delivery-Recovery.aspx

http://www.mdmercy.com/womens/obgyn/aboutPhysicians.html

The Gender Game

Finding out the sex of your baby is very exciting; especially for the pregnant mama experiencing the wild pregnancy dreams.    Early in my pregnancy I had a dream that I was driving my car to visit friends from high school.  For those in the Bangor area, you may chuckle to yourself knowing that I was driving to the Trolley Station for breakfast.   

In the dream I knew I was introducing my friends to our baby for the first time.  As I turned around to view my little bundle of joy, I first noticed that the “baby” was not in a car seat but a teenage girl lying across the back seat of the car.  

My immediate thought was, “dang kids grow fast” followed by me stating aloud, “Claudette, are you hungry”.   After waking from the dream I immediately thought that Jason and I really needed to hone in on a girl name for our baby.  

Claudette was not a name we discussed for a girl but I felt like Claudette Hammond really didn’t have that magical ring I was searching for.

I then wondered if my dream held any truth.  Was I really pregnant with a girl?

During my pregnancy I had so many people tell me that I was pregnant with a boy because I was “glowing”.  Really?  Do women who are pregnant with boys really glow? Do women who are pregnant with girls really look that terrible? 

Maybe I did look terrible and they were just being nice…

Either way I thought I would share my thoughts on waiting until delivery day to find out the sex of your baby.   

I really wanted the surprise in the delivery room. I had this vision in my head of how everything would go, excitement, surprise, joy.  I really just felt that finding out the sex would make the birth anticlimactic.  

I also thought I would need motivation to birth our baby and finding out the sex of the baby would be just the motivation I needed.   But you really don’t need motivation to birth your baby, who knew? 

At this point I now know that the birth of our baby would be exciting either way but for us it made the day perfect. 

I requested in our birth plan for Jason to announce the sex of our baby before anyone else.    When I think of the day Madeline was born I immediately hear Jason’s voice saying, “it’s a girl…right?” and all of the beautiful emotions tied to that moment.  

Two days prior to Madeline’s birth Jason and I went for a walk.  While strolling around the neighborhood we decided that we were having a brown haired, brown eyed, little boy.  We could not have been more wrong which lead to so much more surprise and excitement in the delivery room.

Now moms who find out the sex of their baby prior to birth tell me that the day is just as exciting and memorable.  

So in the end it is your choice.  Don’t succumb to the pressure from family or friends to find out the sex.  It will all happen in due time. 

To all of the parents out there who want to wait until D-day for the surprise, go for it.   It is so worth the wait in the end!

Move aside Dave Letterman: My Top 10

 As a follow up to the blog post from last week I thought I would give a top 10 list of advice for anyone thinking about natural child birth for the birth of their baby.

10.  Know the three stages of labor; Early labor, Active Labor and Transition.   You will then have a better idea of what your body is doing to prepare for birth and may even have a better idea of how long until the baby will arrive.

9. Keep yourself busy during early labor – bake cookies, listen to music, go for a walk, talk on the phone.  This may be a long ride.  Keep your mind occupied on other tasks rather than thinking about the contractions. 

8.  Read positive stories of women who have experienced a natural birth with their child prior to your due date.

7. Envision the birth of your baby.  Envision yourself being relaxed, focused and calm.  A positive mindset is essential.

6. Make a playlist of your favorite upbeat songs -  think Salt ‘n’ Pepa Push It and Hey Mama by Kanye West.

5.  Move through the contractions - walk, sway your hips, use a birth ball.

4.  Know that when you enter the Transition stage of labor you will loose your confidence in your ability to give birth.  You will second guess all the decisions you have made and begin to become a emotional wreck.  But the tears and cursing will be worth it.   It is time to turn that frown upside down my friend, that baby is come’in! 

3.  Remain at home as long as you are comfortable.  You will be less tempted to request pain medication if it isn’t even an option.

2.  Keep your eye on the prize!  aka Stay focused and calm

1. Hire a doula

Are you crazy!?! Choosing to have a natural childbirth

One of the main reasons why I decided to start this blog was to share my experiences with natural childbirth.   I first want to say that I am not trying to toot my own horn or make anyone feel that the birth of their baby was less than adequate.  If you are a mom, you are a super woman.  Your body performed miracles for your little one to be born into this world and you should be proud of your amazing accomplishment! 

My point for this post is to share my experiences, share statistics that helped me to make the choice for a natural childbirth and encourage others who are thinking about a natural childbirth.

First I want to define natural childbirth.  When I speak about natural childbirth I am referring to a drug free, intervention free birth.  

To begin, I want to give encouragement to anyone thinking about a natural childbirth.  It is the most rewarding decision you can make.    When I first thought about a natural birth I had a lot of questions. 

I thought about the movies and media where women are screaming and yelling due to the amount of pain.   I thought about friends who recently gave birth and everyone told me to request an epidural no later than 3 centimeters.  My own mother told me to be sure to review pain medications with my doctor prior to going into labor.   

I never had the courage to tell people that I was trying for a natural birth.  Rather I kept my mouth shut and only told a few friends and family members my plan.  When I was brave and told people my plan I was faced with a lot of questions that I really couldn’t answer, “Do you really think you can give birth to a baby without any type of pain medication?”,  “Isn’t it unsafe to labor at home?”, the questions were endless and nerve racking.

Misery loves company and thus there are too many horrifying birth stories rather than positive and encouraging birth stories.   I found that after I had given birth to our daughter I didn’t want to share my positive experiences due to the negative emotions expressed by others.   I felt like I needed a torturous war story about a 30-hour labor to fit in with the cool kids in town.  

If you are considering a natural labor and it is your first baby I highly recommend hiring a doula.  She will help you remain focused and calm two very important elements to a natural birth.    I also recommend reading about other positive births and mentally preparing for the birth.   So much of giving birth is mental.  If you tell yourself you can’t do it.  You won’t. 

As many of you know I enjoy running.  I thought of giving birth as a marathon.  It was going to be painful but as long as my body and mind were prepared I could achieve my goal.

I want to give you a few statistics that helped me to make the decision for a natural birth. 

First C-sections are at an all time high  in the United States.  There are a few reasons for the increase, the surge in lawsuits, and the convenience of scheduling your baby’s birth and the increase in high-risk births.   

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Center for Health Statistics one in every three babies born in the United States is born by C- section.  This is over a 50% increase from the mid 90’s.    The increase in C-section birth also comes with risks to both mother and baby – possibly even leading the mother and/or baby into intensive care.  

An epidural comes with risks as well.  The American Pregnancy Association notes that “You may find that your epidural makes pushing more difficult and additional interventions such as Pitocin, forceps, vacuum extraction or cesarean may become necessary” http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/epidural.html. 

In addition you can also suffer from permanent nerve damage or a spinal headache not to mention the risks to the baby “most studies suggest some babies will have trouble "latching on" which can lead to breastfeeding difficulties. Other studies suggest that the baby may experience respiratory depression, fetal malpositioning; and an increase in fetal heart rate variability, which may increase the need for forceps, vacuum, cesarean deliveries and episiotomies.”

I don’t need to continue to scare you with statistics.  There are risks to everything we do but I decided if I could have some control over these risks I was going to at least try for a natural birth.

So finally here is a brief telling of my daughter’s birth story.  If you want all the details, call me and I will share.  

I awoke feeling my first true contraction around 1 o’clock in the morning the day my daughter was born.   I had been feeling Braxton Hick’s contractions for a few months prior and now laugh at the fact that I thought I was in labor then.  If you haven’t given birth yet and wonder how contractions feel, just know that you will know when you are truly in labor!

After a quick text to our doula I tried to go back to sleep as per her advice only to find the contractions more intense and less bearable when I laid down in bed.  I found this ironic since most women labor in bed when the get to the hospital. 

Instead I listened to the birth mix I created and rocked in our glider while Jason slept soundly (occasionally waking up to if it was time to go to the hospital).   When the contractions became more intense I walked, swayed my hips back and forth and counted down the contractions. Focusing on the contractions helped me to stay focused on my goal and in control. 

When Bobbie, our doula arrived at our house around 7am I used the birth ball, watched GMA and felt an overwhelming sense of calm knowing that she was in control of the situation.  She reassured me that everything I was experiencing was normal. 

She also helped me to understand the stage of labor I was experiencing by observing my body movements and actions (throwing up, timing of contractions, the sound of my voice).  She never once did an internal exam but was able to know how far dilated I was just by observing me.

Around 11 o’clock Bobbie and I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  After a 20-minute drive Jason and I parked the car in the garage (no drop off needed, walking only helped my progress), I walked into the hospital lobby (had a few contractions and an offer for a wheelchair from a kind old man), and took the elevator to the maternity ward (no time to check in at the ER).  

Upon entering the maternity ward I was forced to lie down so the baby could be monitored.   This was the only time that I considered any type of pain medication.   I was internally checked for the first time (the most painful part of giving birth, no lie) and told that I was 6 centimeters.   

When a nurse came into the room asking, “could I offer you an epidural?” I was so done and ready to accept her offer.   The only thing that kept me focused was our doula, declining the nurse and reminding her that I was planning for a natural birth.

After about 15-20 minutes in triage hooked up to the monitor I walked to the room where I would give birth.   About 5 minutes after walking into the room my water broke and I went from 6 to 10 centimeters immediately.   I was then ready to push and at 12:34 pm our daughter Madeline was born.  

So in conclusion, if you are thinking about a natural childbirth do your research and mentally prepare.   You can do anything you set your mind upon.   Women have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years.   You can do it too!

I know I posted these before but here they are again.  Below are the list of books and videos that Bobbie shared with us that we found to be helpful:

Active Birth – Janet Balaskas

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (anything by Ina May is terrific to read)

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin

ibirth – DVD

Some people give birth at 36 weeks, I switch hospitals

Vision this, Jason and I touring our original place of birth at 35 weeks.   We walked (Jason walked, I waddled) the halls hand in hand, envisioned the day our baby would be born, listened to the hospital tour guide share her list of top hospital birthing room essentials, watched a tired looking woman hair frazzled and eyes red with tears being wheeled into the operating room for a C-section…(insert sound of screeching car wheels)…

WHAT!  At this point the dreaded C-section was now my worst birthing fear.  After much research I was now striving for a natural, drug free birth.  A far cry from the scheduled C-section birth I had dreamed about in my early months of pregnancy.   

In all seriousness, deciding on the place where you deliver your baby is more important than you think.   After we were married and I moved to Maryland I started to go to an OBGYN recommended by friends.  After I became pregnant I figured I would deliver at the same hospital with the same doctors.   But as I began to think about my ideal birth experience I started to feel that the hospital where we were scheduled to deliver wasn’t meshing with my ideal birth plan. 

We went for a tour, spoke with all three doctors in the practice, discussed our birth plan but something just didn’t feel right.  Maybe it was the fact that our original hospital has one of the highest C-section rates in the state of Maryland, maybe it was the fact that one of my doctors told me that if all else fails he would just cut the baby out (um, was that suppose to make me feel better about this whole birthing process).

I was 36 weeks pregnant.  Some women give birth at 36 weeks.  My baby could technically be done cooking.  My belly button had popped weeks ago.  This was not a time to make a drastic change. 

I decided that I would give birth at our original birth location and then switch my OBGYN and hospital for baby #2.   But after lots of tears (damn you pregnancy hormones!) and repeating of the million-dollar question, “What should I do?” to everyone who would listen I finally came to the realization (with the help of our doula) that the birth of my first baby would determine how I would birth any additional babies in the future.  In addition, I started to ask myself, if I had an incredibly negative birth experience would I want to give birth again?   

I was at a loss.  I was technically full-term and could give birth any day, yet I just did not feel comfortable delivering at our originally hospital.    Now if you really know me you know that I am both stubborn and only make significant decisions after a lot of research and debate.  So, I did what I always do when I have to make a difficult decision; I prayed and Googled.  Googling “should I switch doctors at 36 weeks?” I received about 2,310,000 results.  Clearly I wasn’t the only mom struggling with this same question.

I have a pretty terrific husband who was very supportive and encouraging through this process.  I think he also wanted to end the crazy pregnancy hormone crying.  But in the end his actions helped me to make the decision to switch doctors/hospitals.  Jason reached out to two co-workers to learn about their experiences with our new possible place of birth as well as with midwives.  

Two of his co-workers emailed me sharing their positive birth experiences. One of his co-workers, who I will forever be grateful for her the email response she sent, decided to switch her doctor late in pregnancy and encouraged me to follow my instincts to make the best decision for our baby and me.

So just as Oprah told her viewers (oh Oprah, I miss our 4 o’clock dates), “Listen to your gut”.  Trust your intuition.   When that little voice starts to nudge you, then begins to push you.  Listen.  There is a reason why you may be feeling a certain way.

It may be pregnancy hormones but it may just be your body telling you to take a step back and reassess.  No matter what stage of your pregnancy- 4 weeks or 40 weeks, make the decision that will make you the happiest and most comfortable. 

I would be lying if I told you the switch between doctors was a stress free experience.  But in the end the switch to a new hospital and medical staff was one of the best decisions I could have made as it allowed me to achieve a positive, life changing birth.  Shoot, I think I might just do the pregnancy thing again!