Move aside Dave Letterman: My Top 10

 As a follow up to the blog post from last week I thought I would give a top 10 list of advice for anyone thinking about natural child birth for the birth of their baby.

10.  Know the three stages of labor; Early labor, Active Labor and Transition.   You will then have a better idea of what your body is doing to prepare for birth and may even have a better idea of how long until the baby will arrive.

9. Keep yourself busy during early labor – bake cookies, listen to music, go for a walk, talk on the phone.  This may be a long ride.  Keep your mind occupied on other tasks rather than thinking about the contractions. 

8.  Read positive stories of women who have experienced a natural birth with their child prior to your due date.

7. Envision the birth of your baby.  Envision yourself being relaxed, focused and calm.  A positive mindset is essential.

6. Make a playlist of your favorite upbeat songs -  think Salt ‘n’ Pepa Push It and Hey Mama by Kanye West.

5.  Move through the contractions - walk, sway your hips, use a birth ball.

4.  Know that when you enter the Transition stage of labor you will loose your confidence in your ability to give birth.  You will second guess all the decisions you have made and begin to become a emotional wreck.  But the tears and cursing will be worth it.   It is time to turn that frown upside down my friend, that baby is come’in! 

3.  Remain at home as long as you are comfortable.  You will be less tempted to request pain medication if it isn’t even an option.

2.  Keep your eye on the prize!  aka Stay focused and calm

1. Hire a doula

Are you crazy!?! Choosing to have a natural childbirth

One of the main reasons why I decided to start this blog was to share my experiences with natural childbirth.   I first want to say that I am not trying to toot my own horn or make anyone feel that the birth of their baby was less than adequate.  If you are a mom, you are a super woman.  Your body performed miracles for your little one to be born into this world and you should be proud of your amazing accomplishment! 

My point for this post is to share my experiences, share statistics that helped me to make the choice for a natural childbirth and encourage others who are thinking about a natural childbirth.

First I want to define natural childbirth.  When I speak about natural childbirth I am referring to a drug free, intervention free birth.  

To begin, I want to give encouragement to anyone thinking about a natural childbirth.  It is the most rewarding decision you can make.    When I first thought about a natural birth I had a lot of questions. 

I thought about the movies and media where women are screaming and yelling due to the amount of pain.   I thought about friends who recently gave birth and everyone told me to request an epidural no later than 3 centimeters.  My own mother told me to be sure to review pain medications with my doctor prior to going into labor.   

I never had the courage to tell people that I was trying for a natural birth.  Rather I kept my mouth shut and only told a few friends and family members my plan.  When I was brave and told people my plan I was faced with a lot of questions that I really couldn’t answer, “Do you really think you can give birth to a baby without any type of pain medication?”,  “Isn’t it unsafe to labor at home?”, the questions were endless and nerve racking.

Misery loves company and thus there are too many horrifying birth stories rather than positive and encouraging birth stories.   I found that after I had given birth to our daughter I didn’t want to share my positive experiences due to the negative emotions expressed by others.   I felt like I needed a torturous war story about a 30-hour labor to fit in with the cool kids in town.  

If you are considering a natural labor and it is your first baby I highly recommend hiring a doula.  She will help you remain focused and calm two very important elements to a natural birth.    I also recommend reading about other positive births and mentally preparing for the birth.   So much of giving birth is mental.  If you tell yourself you can’t do it.  You won’t. 

As many of you know I enjoy running.  I thought of giving birth as a marathon.  It was going to be painful but as long as my body and mind were prepared I could achieve my goal.

I want to give you a few statistics that helped me to make the decision for a natural birth. 

First C-sections are at an all time high  in the United States.  There are a few reasons for the increase, the surge in lawsuits, and the convenience of scheduling your baby’s birth and the increase in high-risk births.   

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Center for Health Statistics one in every three babies born in the United States is born by C- section.  This is over a 50% increase from the mid 90’s.    The increase in C-section birth also comes with risks to both mother and baby – possibly even leading the mother and/or baby into intensive care.  

An epidural comes with risks as well.  The American Pregnancy Association notes that “You may find that your epidural makes pushing more difficult and additional interventions such as Pitocin, forceps, vacuum extraction or cesarean may become necessary” http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/epidural.html. 

In addition you can also suffer from permanent nerve damage or a spinal headache not to mention the risks to the baby “most studies suggest some babies will have trouble "latching on" which can lead to breastfeeding difficulties. Other studies suggest that the baby may experience respiratory depression, fetal malpositioning; and an increase in fetal heart rate variability, which may increase the need for forceps, vacuum, cesarean deliveries and episiotomies.”

I don’t need to continue to scare you with statistics.  There are risks to everything we do but I decided if I could have some control over these risks I was going to at least try for a natural birth.

So finally here is a brief telling of my daughter’s birth story.  If you want all the details, call me and I will share.  

I awoke feeling my first true contraction around 1 o’clock in the morning the day my daughter was born.   I had been feeling Braxton Hick’s contractions for a few months prior and now laugh at the fact that I thought I was in labor then.  If you haven’t given birth yet and wonder how contractions feel, just know that you will know when you are truly in labor!

After a quick text to our doula I tried to go back to sleep as per her advice only to find the contractions more intense and less bearable when I laid down in bed.  I found this ironic since most women labor in bed when the get to the hospital. 

Instead I listened to the birth mix I created and rocked in our glider while Jason slept soundly (occasionally waking up to if it was time to go to the hospital).   When the contractions became more intense I walked, swayed my hips back and forth and counted down the contractions. Focusing on the contractions helped me to stay focused on my goal and in control. 

When Bobbie, our doula arrived at our house around 7am I used the birth ball, watched GMA and felt an overwhelming sense of calm knowing that she was in control of the situation.  She reassured me that everything I was experiencing was normal. 

She also helped me to understand the stage of labor I was experiencing by observing my body movements and actions (throwing up, timing of contractions, the sound of my voice).  She never once did an internal exam but was able to know how far dilated I was just by observing me.

Around 11 o’clock Bobbie and I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  After a 20-minute drive Jason and I parked the car in the garage (no drop off needed, walking only helped my progress), I walked into the hospital lobby (had a few contractions and an offer for a wheelchair from a kind old man), and took the elevator to the maternity ward (no time to check in at the ER).  

Upon entering the maternity ward I was forced to lie down so the baby could be monitored.   This was the only time that I considered any type of pain medication.   I was internally checked for the first time (the most painful part of giving birth, no lie) and told that I was 6 centimeters.   

When a nurse came into the room asking, “could I offer you an epidural?” I was so done and ready to accept her offer.   The only thing that kept me focused was our doula, declining the nurse and reminding her that I was planning for a natural birth.

After about 15-20 minutes in triage hooked up to the monitor I walked to the room where I would give birth.   About 5 minutes after walking into the room my water broke and I went from 6 to 10 centimeters immediately.   I was then ready to push and at 12:34 pm our daughter Madeline was born.  

So in conclusion, if you are thinking about a natural childbirth do your research and mentally prepare.   You can do anything you set your mind upon.   Women have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years.   You can do it too!

I know I posted these before but here they are again.  Below are the list of books and videos that Bobbie shared with us that we found to be helpful:

Active Birth – Janet Balaskas

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (anything by Ina May is terrific to read)

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin

ibirth – DVD

Some people give birth at 36 weeks, I switch hospitals

Vision this, Jason and I touring our original place of birth at 35 weeks.   We walked (Jason walked, I waddled) the halls hand in hand, envisioned the day our baby would be born, listened to the hospital tour guide share her list of top hospital birthing room essentials, watched a tired looking woman hair frazzled and eyes red with tears being wheeled into the operating room for a C-section…(insert sound of screeching car wheels)…

WHAT!  At this point the dreaded C-section was now my worst birthing fear.  After much research I was now striving for a natural, drug free birth.  A far cry from the scheduled C-section birth I had dreamed about in my early months of pregnancy.   

In all seriousness, deciding on the place where you deliver your baby is more important than you think.   After we were married and I moved to Maryland I started to go to an OBGYN recommended by friends.  After I became pregnant I figured I would deliver at the same hospital with the same doctors.   But as I began to think about my ideal birth experience I started to feel that the hospital where we were scheduled to deliver wasn’t meshing with my ideal birth plan. 

We went for a tour, spoke with all three doctors in the practice, discussed our birth plan but something just didn’t feel right.  Maybe it was the fact that our original hospital has one of the highest C-section rates in the state of Maryland, maybe it was the fact that one of my doctors told me that if all else fails he would just cut the baby out (um, was that suppose to make me feel better about this whole birthing process).

I was 36 weeks pregnant.  Some women give birth at 36 weeks.  My baby could technically be done cooking.  My belly button had popped weeks ago.  This was not a time to make a drastic change. 

I decided that I would give birth at our original birth location and then switch my OBGYN and hospital for baby #2.   But after lots of tears (damn you pregnancy hormones!) and repeating of the million-dollar question, “What should I do?” to everyone who would listen I finally came to the realization (with the help of our doula) that the birth of my first baby would determine how I would birth any additional babies in the future.  In addition, I started to ask myself, if I had an incredibly negative birth experience would I want to give birth again?   

I was at a loss.  I was technically full-term and could give birth any day, yet I just did not feel comfortable delivering at our originally hospital.    Now if you really know me you know that I am both stubborn and only make significant decisions after a lot of research and debate.  So, I did what I always do when I have to make a difficult decision; I prayed and Googled.  Googling “should I switch doctors at 36 weeks?” I received about 2,310,000 results.  Clearly I wasn’t the only mom struggling with this same question.

I have a pretty terrific husband who was very supportive and encouraging through this process.  I think he also wanted to end the crazy pregnancy hormone crying.  But in the end his actions helped me to make the decision to switch doctors/hospitals.  Jason reached out to two co-workers to learn about their experiences with our new possible place of birth as well as with midwives.  

Two of his co-workers emailed me sharing their positive birth experiences. One of his co-workers, who I will forever be grateful for her the email response she sent, decided to switch her doctor late in pregnancy and encouraged me to follow my instincts to make the best decision for our baby and me.

So just as Oprah told her viewers (oh Oprah, I miss our 4 o’clock dates), “Listen to your gut”.  Trust your intuition.   When that little voice starts to nudge you, then begins to push you.  Listen.  There is a reason why you may be feeling a certain way.

It may be pregnancy hormones but it may just be your body telling you to take a step back and reassess.  No matter what stage of your pregnancy- 4 weeks or 40 weeks, make the decision that will make you the happiest and most comfortable. 

I would be lying if I told you the switch between doctors was a stress free experience.  But in the end the switch to a new hospital and medical staff was one of the best decisions I could have made as it allowed me to achieve a positive, life changing birth.  Shoot, I think I might just do the pregnancy thing again!